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Life running backward

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year and success in all your future endeavours. May all bachelors get married and married people plan for baby.…. J

This is my first post in year 2010. I am on one week leave and spending my time with my parents, wife and kid in Lucknow. You might feel this post a bit weird, but for sure, it is interesting to think what would happen when you start your life backward. I was having a cup of coffee in Hazratganj yesterday with my Jija ji (he is Major in Indian army, currently in Lucknow on leave), where he asked me to think about life running backward. Then I thought of writing a blog on the idea.

Have you ever pondered your life starting backward? Have you ever thought about starting your life with your funeral? You might feel these questions a little idiotic, but are certainly very exciting and daunting and give a different perspective of life. Let us try to ride the life in reverse gear and find how funny it would have been if life ran backwards, sort of like the video of Enigma’s song, which had a unicorn running backwards.


************ FUNERAL TO THE AGE OF 60 YEARS************


Here it goes…. you start your life with your funeral. You are dead now and everybody is crying. Your dead body is returning to your home from burial ground. Your quite body is kept on the floor and last rituals are performed in chronologically reverse order. Gradually the crying of your near and dear ones picks up intensity. Your family members call everybody and inform about your death to the relatives and friends. A sudden wave of grief and sorrow looms in the family. A moment comes, when the first member in your home who found you were dead, informs other family members. In a jiffy, all mourning and pain in the family disappear. Everybody is now engaged in his or her daily activities. You are lying in your bed, almost dying. You are in the worst state of your health, but it is improving now (remember, life is running backward!!!).

Few days after, you start walking with your stick. You have arthritis, heart problem and many more to add to the list. Nevertheless, with each passing day, your health is improving. You are feeling younger. A day comes, when you leave stick, as you do not need a stick to help balance while walking. You are regaining your straight body and hairs on your baldhead. You are now in the process of removing artificial teeth as one by one your adulthood teeth start coming. You are meeting new friends in the park where you go for walk. You are enjoying your retired life to the fullest with the pension coming to you.


************ AT THE AGE OF 60 YEARS, STARTING JOB************


During the course of time, a day comes when you have to start your job. You are 60 years old now. Your retirement period is over. You are in your office, your first day (had it been a normal life, it would be your retirement day). Everybody is giving you gifts and bouquet. Some pof your colleagues, who are younger than you, are feeling sad. You are starting your job not like a fresher, but with more than 35-40 years of work experience (remember, life is running backward and your first day in office is your retirement day in real scenario !!!).

Second day in office, you are wrapping up your things and the new person replacing you is all set to start. You are very emotional today with numb eyes. After 35-40 years of long service to the corporate world, you are saying goodbye finally. As the days pass by, you get more and more engrossed in your work. You have to work for the next few decades until you are too young to work. Having started the job with loads of experience, your experience is eventually coming down, but you are getting energetic physically and mentally. Zeal to conquer the entire world starts developing in your heart, as you want to reach the pinnacle. Now you are reaching to the end of your professional career. You are in your early twenties. You are working hard and partying harder. Your weekends are rocking in pubs and discos. Your wardrobe fashions only latest apparel. You have let your heart lead you to enjoyment in the days of your youth. You are following the desires of your heart.


************ RETIRING FROM JOB IN EARLY TWENTIES************


Your second last day in office, you still have to get over the hangover because of liquor you had on last night of your career’s last day. You are attending the induction programme and trying hard to concentrate on what they are telling you about the company. You feel to be at home as early as possible to slip into the bed. And now your last day in office, you are very happy. Your joining formalities are being done. You are thinking that now you have achieved what you had aspired for. You are wearing properly ironed new clothes. After office, you are planning to throw a lavish party to your friends and thereafter booze entire night. Woww… lovely feeling. You are on cloud nine.


************ COLLEGE TO SCHOOL************


You spend few more days and now you are in college. Your life is only with your friends. You laugh together, you cry together, you study together and party together. You are placed in your dream organization (probably!). For rest of the year, you are planning trips to different places, visiting your friends and relatives. You are licentious, running behind girls, trying to flirt and end up with multiple relationships like few girlfriends and many sisters. Days are passing, and you are becoming more and more serious towards your study. Your aim is to be on top in your college and get placed in the best organization coming to your campus.

Few days later, you are again enjoying your life. It is the time now to reap rich reward of your intense hard work you put in to get admitted to your dream institute. You are playing with your school friends, meeting your teachers to inform them that finally you are going to wear the pride by joining one of the premier institutes of the country (may be not true in many cases like me  🙂 ). You are working hard to crack prestigious examinations so that you get admission to your dream institute. Few more months passed by and now, you are in school. Your daily schedule is to have dinner, do some self-study and go to the park to play, back to home and do your homework, go for coaching and tuition, then school, attend classes and sleep (just to remind you again that life is running backward). Many celebrations come and go and you grow younger from adolescence to teenager to a kid. Your age as well as height is reducing. You are becoming childish day by day. You are coming down to half pant from full pants.


************ TEENAGER TO KID************


Then your teeth (adulthood teeth) start falling and a new set of teeth (few people call them milk teeth) replace them. You are heavily dependent on your parents. Suddenly you forget walking and fall on the floor (remember, backward life). You are in nappies and your parents teach you every little thing around you. Curiosity keeps you plugged into life. You crawl here and there, try to touch and hold anything you find in your reach. After few more months, you are in the lap of your parents. You are a little baby now. You have forgotten whatever little words you could mumble. You are approaching the dusk of your life. Soon you find people around you are very happy as a new kid is born in the family.

Looks strange, right…..?? you are coming to the end of your life, but people in your family, your parents are very happy.. that sounds so unlikely… may be because of life is running backward…??


************  IN THE WOMB – AND LIFE ENDS************


Ok, so the day has arrived, you are just born. Your parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and everybody is trying to hold you. You are crying. You are not able to understand that where the hell have you landed. Your family members in the hospital are distributing sweets. Phones are ringing to convey best wishes to your family members. There is joy and delight everywhere.

After another few minutes, and you are in the womb. It is very difficult for you to adjust there. The place is not enough for you. You want to come out immediately. Few more days passed and you start feeling comfortable in the womb. It is so cosy there. Your mother’s body is taking care of you and providing you full nutrition. You do not have worry about anything. You are growing smaller and smaller. Your body parts are disappearing with each passing day. One day you lost your fingers, then hand and then feet. You are now a living organism with a heart, which is the only sing of life in you without any body part and brain. You are floating in amniotic fluid. You become a foetus and then disappear. Thus the life ends with orgasm.

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  1. ruchi singh
    January 8, 2010 at 10:25 am

    so hypotheticallllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but gud narration as always

  2. DIWAKAR
    January 8, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    GOOD ONE. UPMAAN U SEEM TO THINK THINGS IN DETAIL.LAGE RAHO.

  3. Anand Singh
    January 9, 2010 at 12:11 am

    Bhaiya lagta hai “Curious Case of Benjamin Button” nahi dekhe ho… you must watch it… you will find it awesome 🙂

  4. Rahul
    January 11, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    hehe… bhai… as anand and others rightly said – well written but not original… world padh and dekh chuka hai pehle hi

  5. Anupam Singh
    January 11, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    bhai download per lagaya hun ye movie ….. dekh kar batata hun kya hai usmey.. aur kya likha hai maine 😀

  6. Praveen
    February 2, 2010 at 9:38 am

    OK. article ka sabse achi baat yeh hai ki life running backwards from 60 years and not 28… otherwise shaadi se pehle hi marna padega 🙂 🙂

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