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Ayansh – Birth Story

January 24, 2015 Leave a comment

21st Jan, around 04:30 AM, Pooja, my wife, woke me up and asked me to get ready at the earliest to head out for hospital. She was beaming with excitement, and had a glow on her face, which I had never seen all through her pregnancy period. She was already a few days past her due date and I could easily see that a sense of restlessness had started enveloping her in last few days. She was tormented. But then she was joyous too, thinking she was now going to end this 9 months journey any time soon. The ecstasy of giving a natural birth had overcome the pre labour pain she was going through.

And then what time unfolded, was truly an unprecedented tale we ever witnessed. Now the wait begins… We mistook pre labour pain for it might end soon with blossoming a new life into this beautiful world. Hours passed…. There was no sign of active labour. I started losing my patience when my wife needed it most. It was afternoon, 21st January, when I muttered to my wife that I missed an important day at office for nothing. She must have hated me from the core of her heart. There have many occasions when I put my work over anything and everything and later repented. With hindsight, I should have never done this to her. I now curse myself for doing this to her.

Anyway, wait continued and she passed 24 hours in pre labour pain. Around 4 AM on 22nd January, I woke up to rasping heavy breathing sound of my wife. Thanks to Healthy Mother Care and Dr. Vijaya, I didn’t take long to understand that my wife was managing active labour pains through fast breathing. I was happy to see the effect of 6 weeks of Lamaze (child birth preparation) classes at Healthy Mother. Those classes truly ingrained some elements of a gynaecologist in me. By the time doctor examined my wife, at around 06:00 AM, she was 6 centimetres dilated. She was half way through. Contractions were now more frequent. The glow on my wife’s face only became brighter as the time passed. She was going through the labour first time, but she never appeared naive.

I guess baby was even more excited to get a glimpse of this world. So far, baby had a constant healthy heart beat until now. At 06:30 AM, 22nd January, it appeared baby would be delivered maximum by 11:00 – 11:30 AM. Pooja was in labour, contractions were 5-6 minutes apart and pain intensity was high. I was trying to keep her attention away from pain. We both were speculating the time of birth, it started with 10 AM in the morning, soon it was pushed to 4 PM, then 6 then 8 but there was no sign of when this would all end.

By 09:00 PM, 22nd Jan, Pooja had started looking dull, the smile on her face started fading away. Without sounding sadistic, this was what I and Healthy Mother team were expecting to see. This clearly meant she was inching closer to delivery. 24 hours of pre labour and 16 plus hours of active labour had tormented her. She was stagnating in an abyss of pain. Then Dr. Vijaya noticed something unusual with baby’s heartbeat. It was fluctuating between 170-190 and occasionally it crossed 190. In last 16 hours of active labour, Pooja dilated probably 2 centimetres more than what was observed in the morning. More 40 hours of pre and active labour pain combined had probably stressed out the baby in womb and that is when doctor decided to get the baby out at the earliest. She focused on first to bring baby’s heart beat within a normal range before taking actions required to get the baby out. Within a few minutes she managed to get heart beat down under 145. By 09:30 PM, Pooja was induced with pain and Healthy Mother staff started assisting her do certain exercises to help her cervix fully dilated. Doctor kept a consistent check on baby’s heartbeat and ensured it remained within the normal range. Meanwhile, my wife was slowly moving to pushing stage.

And then, a ceaselessly long pushing saga started at around 10:00 PM. Contractions were still 3-4 minutes apart, but they were stronger than ever accompanied by severe leg cramps. It was only now, after 40 plus hours of initial labour pains, she could feel significant rectal pressure, probably the baby was low enough in the pelvis. Wait….. when each labour stage appeared to last an era, how could this have ended so soon. Baby was not as low as it should have been after such a long labour. Somehow it was not coming down beyond a certain point. I am not sure about my wife, but I had kind of given up hopes for a normal delivery; but when I looked at the doctor, her confidence provided me a huge respite. It was phenomenal to see how she was motivating my wife to push harder each time. Probably by 2:00 AM, on 23rd January, we first saw a glimpse of baby’s head. It took another 2 hours and baby finally came out at 04:07 AM. It was a baby boy. We were taken a back after realizing that the weight of the baby was 4.5 KG and 56 centimetre tall; one of the two tallest babies born in last 6 years of Healthy Mother’s history. I couldn’t believe what my eyes had just seen. A new life coming into my arms, through the pains that my wife endured for hours and days, only made me more respectful to her and all other women out there.

From the bottom of my heart, I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to Healthy Mother team for the tremendous support they provided, and my wife would definitely echo my voice. I still remember the first appointment we had at one of the finest hospitals in the city when we were told that my wife’s desire of a natural birth would be a distant dream, especially after a first C-section. When I look back, I feel so relieved that we switched to birth centre just in time. I bet, had it been any other hospital, this would have been a clear case of Caesarean section.

4

November 8, 2013 1 comment

There couldn’t be a better day than your birthday to publish next in series “Letter to Darsh”. Happy birthday mate, you just turned 4.

Taking care of any celebrations event planning, has always been frightening to me. You must understand how your mom took care of making this day eventful for you with a busy job, a hectic life and a dull and grounded husband post a foot surgery. You should know that more than anyone else, it’s your Mommy who is most excited for your birthday party. You were fast asleep in your cozy bed when your mom and I were staring at the clock with gimlet eye till it turned 12:00 AM. And then your mom started showering you with her kisses but that didn’t deter you to come out of your hibernation. I also followed the suit, but to no avail. Never seen her so excited, she smiled, gazed at you for a couple of minutes and slipped into bed, while I was looking for my painkillers.

Going a couple of hours back, when your birthday gift was being finalized, we were confused as to what to give. We asked you and you responded ” I don’t know” and then you thought for a while before retracting your statement and said while pointing at some old toy, “I don’t want anything thing, I already have one”. It just warmed our hearts and made us feel the magic of that moment; not because you didn’t want anything but because of the purity of your innocence. The gleaming had started long ago when you started counting down the days for cake-cutting on your birthday. All these actions going around were fueling a spark in your eyes. We were surprised to see how instead of asking anything for yourself, you were keener to know what we would be distributing as return gifts to your friends at school.

I tried to annoyed you saying that we would not celebrate your birthday as I won’t be able to move due to my recent surgery. This trick didn’t work and you calmly suggested me to stay back at home and rest, while you would go out with your mom to celebrate your birthday. I was flabbergasted and fell short of words to respond you.

I know dude, very soon you will grow up. You will have your own liking and disliking, you will want to gain independence, make your own rules and would start developing un-comfort under auspices of your parents. Till then, we would want to cherish every moment of your innocent childhood and treasure them till eternity.

Darsh’s Mundan

March 15, 2012 2 comments

24th Feb 2012 was Darsh’s tonsuring (Mundan ceremony). We travelled to Vindhyachal, a very famous Hindu deity temple in the region situated 70 kilometers away from Varanasi. Vindhyachal, one of the ancient Shaktipeeths, is situated on the banks of river Ganga and surrounded by magnificence of nature.  Vindhyachal is a renowned religious city dedicated to goddess Vindhyavasini. The temple is a center of pilgrimage in the vicinity of Varanasi and MIrzapur. Almost everybody in our family for generations has been visiting the temple to mark important and auspicious events.

As per Hindu tradition, a child receives his/her first Mundan either the first year or third year of age. Being Darsh’s third year, his hairs had grown to a substantial length, making him look healthier than he actually was then. It was really a painful sight of his long hairs going away.

I will be honest to say that I have fairly no idea about this ritual that why is it considered so important. I probably may have to google to understand the rationale behind this custom. To me, more than a Mundan ceremony, it was like a family gathering. My parents and sister with her 2 years old kid came down to Varanasi at my uncle’s place. We were visiting Varanasi after 5 long years and happened to meet lot of relatives. Also this trip marked my first visit to my ancestor’s village after my wedding and this time with entire family. It was a real fun to spend great time with cousins after a long time.

After few weeks have passed since Darsh’s Mundan, we are now used to see him without hair, but hoping to see him with long hairs soon.

Categories: Journey to Fatherhood

After Two

January 21, 2012 2 comments

It is always a moment of going through emotions whenever I write about my kid. He has now completed two years and I just realized so much has changed since my last entry. He has now started building his dictionary and trying to express himself with whatever words he can use. We can now exchange verbal communication and he uses Telugu (words like “aiiyo” and rest we don’t understand), at times Hindi and many a times English as well to drag our attention or to perverse or to caress us. Another observation is his dominant sense to look good and spending minutes in front of mirror after being dressed up and watching himself from all the possible angles. Without any second thought I can say this element has passed down from my wife to him. He has lost all the traces of whatever little baby fat he had and has become lot slimmer (we are still hoping him to gain some weight). My two year old loves to imitate the dance moves he sees on TV (specially for songs featuring Salman Khan) and tries to sing or at least manages to make some rhythmic sounds. His favorite leisure activity is crooning Kolaveri di and favorite actor is Salman Khan (for the above mentioned reason).

Need not to mention that my little one is learning to fool us innocently by making excuses early morning to avoid going to pre-school. It’s such a fun to see his face turning sour when we take him to bathe. His bent towards chocolates has made Pooja and I to stop even murmuring the word chocolate. We immediately pounce at the TV remote to change the channel whenever it shows a chocolate commercial. He is becoming more and more astute with each passing day. Seems it was yesterday when I first lifted him in my arms.

Time is running so fast ! Wish I could slow down this process….

Letter to Darsh on his First Birthday

November 23, 2010 1 comment

Dear Darshu,

Many congratulations on your first birthday!

I don’t know when would you be reading this letter and I am not sure whether I would be able to preserve this for you till the time you are grown enough to read and understand. But I wanted to feel glad that I savored the moments and recorded them in my own way for you to relish sometime in future.

I won’t use your first birthday to lecture you with heavy fatherly words. We can wait for probably few more years to strike such talks. I would better love to recall how the past one year has passed by. It seems it was yesterday when you came knocking the door early morning, a few minutes before Six O’ Clock.

A year ago your mom was lying in hospital. The indecision whether to go for surgery or wait for a normal delivery was debilitating us. Just a few days before your birth, we were given a hint that it was a baby boy, though we were least bothered about that. After a lot of hustle-bustle, your mom was operated upon and you came into this world. Since then you have been a miracle for us.

I remember your first 12 days in this world which I spent with you and your mom before moving back to my work place, leaving both of you with your grandparents. It was a mesmerizing feeling while holding you as if you were a 20 inches long real lifelike toy. Those 12 days passed by in no time and I kept palpitating till I met you after 2 months and this time I managed to stay with and your mom for close to 10 days. I could notice that you grew at tremendous pace and now you were able to balance your neck to some extent. You had started responding to sound, it was indeed a fun to play with you. And soon I had to leave again for my workplace and started waiting for your mother’s maternity leave to end. In the last month of six months long maternity off, your mother moved to stay with your maternal grandparents. Incidentally Holi fell during the same period and fortunately I could manage to come to meet you both to celebrate your first Holi. I was desperately waiting for you and your mom to join me in Hyderabad and I was the happiest person on 18th March 2010 when both of you touched the soil of Nizams.

A great phase of my life thus started. My life was complete with a beautiful and caring wife and a loving son. Every evening I would wait to finish the day as soon as possible to rush for home and play with you. I and your mom ensured that we would come to home during lunch every day to see you and it really didn’t matter if we missed several official outings and parties 🙂 . You were growing infront of me, learning different new activities with each passing day. You started making different and strange cooing sounds by popping your lips. It was a great fun to see you doing all these stuffs. Soon you learnt to demand whatever you liked in your way of creating grating sound.

Time passed by and because of various reasons (of course to provide you best upbringing), you and your mom left me again to stay with my parents, your paternal grandparents in Lucknow. And because of professional reasons, I missed your first birthday son. Now I am here and seeing you after a gap of more than two and a half months. I was surprised to see the way you were trying to recognize me. You first denied coming to me when I entered the house, and then you crawled towards kitchen door and continued staring at me for a few minutes as if you were trying to flashback to your memories to recognize me. After sometime, you were comfortable to be friends with me. I was now more mesmerized with your newly learnt activities. I saw you first time taking few steps but missed watching you when you would have walked first.

Now that you left with your mom to attend a function at you maternal grandparents place, I am eagerly waiting for both of you to return so that I could spend some quality time with you before going back to Hyderabad. Keep on writing new pages in your life’s notebook and allow me to read new lessons every day.

Thank you for being so beautiful  and loving.

Missed yet another family function- 1st B’day of my son

November 9, 2010 2 comments

Four friends from same college working for different organizations united after years in the city of Nizams. It wouldn’t have been anything less than bliss, if I was not married. But it is indeed ecstatic to be with them when I am away from my family.

I am obviously missing my family every day and every hour and sometimes even dissapointed by my decision. But this sudden and tricky transition to a bachelor’s (forced) life from a happy married life never had a woe because of the good friends being around. But the day today, has been overshadowed by the sting of mising my son’s first birthday. After missing third consecutive Diwali without wife (still have to open an account to be with wife on Diwali) and parents, and missing many more family functions in past few years, this one was more painful to bear.

I could not do anything other than envisioning the series of events that would have taken place since morning at my home. The day started for Darsh with “Satyanarayan Katha” and ended with an outdoor function. And I held myself waiting till 11:30 night to see some pictures of entire day’s activities. I was experiencing a lot of unrest and mayhem before I got to see the pictures which came to me as soothing and conforting touch.

Wish I was there with everybody, been a part morning prayer, bought Darsh a new set of clothes, chose the best birthday cake for my dude and enjoyed the celebrations at night.

Categories: Journey to Fatherhood

Missed yet another family function- 1st B'day of my son

November 9, 2010 2 comments

Four friends from same college working for different organizations united after years in the city of Nizams. It wouldn’t have been anything less than bliss, if I was not married. But it is indeed ecstatic to be with them when I am away from my family.

I am obviously missing my family every day and every hour and sometimes even dissapointed by my decision. But this sudden and tricky transition to a bachelor’s (forced) life from a happy married life never had a woe because of the good friends being around. But the day today, has been overshadowed by the sting of mising my son’s first birthday. After missing third consecutive Diwali without wife (still have to open an account to be with wife on Diwali) and parents, and missing many more family functions in past few years, this one was more painful to bear.

I could not do anything other than envisioning the series of events that would have taken place since morning at my home. The day started for Darsh with “Satyanarayan Katha” and ended with an outdoor function. And I held myself waiting till 11:30 night to see some pictures of entire day’s activities. I was experiencing a lot of unrest and mayhem before I got to see the pictures which came to me as soothing and conforting touch.

Wish I was there with everybody, been a part morning prayer, bought Darsh a new set of clothes, chose the best birthday cake for my dude and enjoyed the celebrations at night.